my first room

Okay, so I just finished the first draft of my first room at Project Legilimensia. When I was going through my editing, a dog barked outside and scared the shit out of me. I think I might request writing within the school instead of at Azkaban. Everything has to be creepy there. It gives me the heeby geebies. I admit that I was having a difficult time thinking up a semi-creepy idea for this room. When I wrote my application I was able to write a scary one because we had just come back from Europe and seen the Catacombs. That place was so creepy with all of the bones and stuff that it made it easy writing about it. This one though, was a little trickier. The idea behind this room is the entrapment of souls in Hell. I had to read part of The Divine Comedy again to get the general feeling of Hell in my brain. This section would only be Limbo in Dante's Inferno. I dread getting o the Purgatorio and Paradiso. Anyways, Here is my paragraph. The things at the end are Extended Descriptions, EDs. The words in front of the description are just keywords so that the players can easily find them.

Carved figures protrude from the wall to the north, mouths open as if screaming in silent torment. A baby juts out further than the rest of group, with limbs spread. It dangles near the ceiling of the corridor with its tiny arms stretched out. The stone slab in which these creatures of anguish reside is oddly warm and damp to the touch. Drops of water trickle from the eyes of an unmoving young girl, leaving two pale green lines of residue. There is a trace of iron in the walls. A narrow trail of smooth rock dips in the centre of the walkway from overuse, the outer edges are still rough and slightly jagged. The walls soundlessly cry into the stillness of the stagnant air. A single candle has been left burning on the calloused edge of the walk. The wick is near its inevitable death. No movement in the air disturbs the dim flame. The candle produces more shadows than light. The stone inhabitant’s carved faces become more alive in the crude lighting. To the north the crawling wall of woe continues in vain, while to the southeast the desolated bodies disappear down another path.


EDs

baby, arms, dangles: This baby hangs as a lifeless stone figure with outstretched arms and splayed fingers. On the palm of its hand and inscription reads " succurro”, help. The solid pupils of the baby’s eyes stare blankly at the opposite wall, as if in a trance. The small mouth hangs open and its tongue is resting on the roof where there is no evidence of teeth.

girl, green, water, iron, young, residue: A small girl standing only a few metres off the cold ground relentlessly continues to darken the streaks on her face. There is no sign of where the water is coming from; no visible holes in her eyes or tear ducts. The green marks left indicate that the presence of iron is hidden in the stone.

candle, burning, wick, flame, shadows: This candle was left on the rough surface of the walkway. The flame burns with an unnatural steadiness. There is no movement in the flame itself, only the slow melting of wax. The small nub is coming to the end of its short lifespan. The minimal light that it provides casts eerie shadows on the people trapped in the walls.




Let me know what you think. I'm going to post this up on the game now so that the editors can have a look. Hopefully they won't tear me apart. I think they'll be okay though, since I'm new and all. By the by, we are required to write as if we were all living in Britain, that’s why I have to use the weird spelling. If you’re interested here’s a link to word usage/slang site.