Rain barrels...again

Okay so I wrote this a while ago, but it was incredibly dull because I was utterly uninspired. After almost two months away from it, I'm finally submitting my second draft to the Project.

Here is what was there before:

Rain Barrel

Large clay barrels sit conveniently under each greenhouse gutter. Catching
the gutter water, the tub serves as a preservation receptacle. Providing
the grounds with natural soft water, the water butts store the liquid until
needed. Not only do the barrels store water for the gardening by retaining
the heavy rainfall, the barrels prevent soil erosion as well as flooding.
Extended Descriptions

Gutter Greenhouse

Running along the lowermost portion of the greenhouse roof, the gutters lead the rainfall to the rain barrels.

Barrels Clay

About four feet tall, these barrels have a maximum capacity of fifty
gallons. Originally a light shade of clay brown, the aged water butts have
transformed into green moss covered cylindrical sculptures. Blending in
with the vegetation surrounding them, the barrels become part of the
landscape to an unaware passerby.
There was only a minor change in this extended description.

Echo

12 11 2 A small water bug floats across the placid surface of the water, creating serene ringlets of movement.


And this is what I have now:

Rain Barrel

Large clay barrels sit conveniently beneath each greenhouse gutter. Thick chunks of dried mud cling to the sides of the clay surface, making the natural pastel orange color a dingy gray-brown; practicality winning over beauty. Moss and dirt fight to engulf the glazed form of the barrel, leaving it a putrid green-brown swirl of color to cover the battleground. Catching the gutter water, the tub serves as a preservation receptacle. Providing the grounds with natural soft water, the water butts store the liquid until needed. Not only do the barrels store water for the gardening by retaining the heavy rainfall, the barrels also prevent soil erosion as well as flooding.

Extended Descriptions
Barrels Clay

About four feet tall, these barrels have a maximum capacity of fifty gallons. Originally a light shade of clay brown, the aged water butts have transformed into green moss covered cylindrical sculptures. Blending in with the vegetation surrounding them, the barrels become part of the landscape to an unaware passerby.

Moss Mud Sides Glazed Clay Battleground

Fighting with moss, the light brown clumps of dirt cling to the glossy surface of the clay barrel. The moss gradually creeps up the sides of the raised clumps of dried mud, hoping to overtake the ugly brown lump.

Gutter Greenhouse

Running along the lowermost portion of the greenhouse roof, the gutters lead the rainfall to the rain barrels.
Echo

12 11 2 A small water bug floats across the placid surface of the water, creating serene ringlets of movement.


So the echo and the Gutter extended description didn't change, but the main description changed drastically in my opinion. It has a little bit of life in it now. Man, it was soooo boring before and very much unlike my style of writing. It sounded like something that would have come out of a text book.