Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Never fear, InvinciBob is here!

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and it was as uneventful as ever, which I have to admit was pretty nice. Aside from getting some nice phone calls, everything was pretty normal. Today was nothing special either. I made some signs for our new apartment, which I haven't even seen yet, but whatever. So instead of telling you about my boring day, I'm going to give you guys a little more of Bob's boring day. Well, today his outlook on The Vanishing Pest Corp. (I renamed the company to better suit what's coming up) is finally starting to take a turn for the better. At least in his mind anyway.

The Adventures of InvinciBob (working title) 8/30-06

...He planned on studying it more when Jim wasn’t watching. College Indy could prove to be the career break that he had been looking for.

Chapter 2

Sitting down at his squeaky swivel chair, he pulled out the first case stacked in the IN box. The manila brown folder made a wobbling noise as he flipped through it. The Inspector who had filled out the detailed chart had horrible handwriting that was about the size of a termite. Bob squinted at the tiny boxes. He felt like he was trying to decipher the secret code. He was getting too old for this. Teenaged boys never wrote big enough for his eyes to see well enough and the girls had so many loops and bubbles that their charts look more like art projects than pest control records. He shook his head and flipped through the pages.
Apparently inspectors had captured a disoriented porcupine in a woman’s front yard. It had been taken down from a tree where it had been munching on the tree’s leaves and bark. The woman had claimed to see the rodent from outside of her kitchen window and thought it was a huge rat. Bob let out a soft snort. Really, a rat? What kind of rat hung out six feet in the air stripping bark and eating twigs? People these days. He turned to the picture paper clipped to the back cover. The animal almost looked cute, with its spines erect and rear sticking up in the air.
He glanced at the garbage can. Rolling over, he stuck his head out of his cubicle. No one was coming. He plucked the newspaper out of the trash with College Indy speed before anyone had the chance to pop in on him. Opening the paper, careful not to make any rumpling noises, Bob smoothed the paper on his desk and read the comic strip over again. He hugged his arms around the paper to prevent anyone from seeing what he was reading, a method he had picked up from his seven-year-old.
Carefully, Bob slid his desk drawer open and took out a pair of scissors. He cut College Indy out the paper and placed him safely onto the bottom of his desk drawer. Returning the newspaper to the trash bin, he turned and faced his computer. Okay College Indy, what would you have done if a porcupine showed up in your front yard?

“ An African Brush-tailed Porcupine was found on April 30, 2006 in the front yard of Mrs. Aprai Frisco…”

Boom. Boom. Boom. The windows of Mrs. Frisco’s house were rattling. He tightened his grip on his pen and clipboard. Instinctively his pen hand touched his sword.
“InvinciBob, you have to save my house from that evil porcupine!” Mrs. Frisco squealed, her hands at her cheeks and eyes wide with fear.
“Don’t worry ma’am,” he said, holding out his hand to stop her jabbering, “I have everything under control,” he continued in the toughest voice he could muster. He gave her a nod to reassure her and set the clipboard on the kitchen table. Invincibob strutted out the front door and placed his hands on his hips.
“Okay, you evil porcupine, we can do this the hard way if you like, or you can get into the cage over there in the InvinciVan,” he told him with a small gesture towards the van.
Boom. Boom. Boom. The porcupine got closer to him.
“I will never surrender to the likes of you InvinciBob!” With that he jumped and spun with a booming crash as he landed. His quills rose as he prepared to shoot.
“You’re not scaring me Porcupine. I know very well that porcupines can’t shoot their quills. I paid attention in zoology you know. They don’t call me InvinciBob for nothing,” he said with a smug grin. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for the porcupine’s next move. The animal slowly turned around to glare at him. His clawed feet tore up the lawn in the pivoting motion.
“That’s what you think, InvinciBob. Dr. Gizmo suped me up with ejecting quills and steel tipped claws,” he said with a garish laugh. “One of these babies into your stomach and you’ll never get it out. Dr. Gizmo enhanced the barbs with flesh eating bacteria that feasts on my victim’s body after I impale them. The hole will be so big that you could fit a log through it.”
“A riced out porcupine,” InvinciBob said more to himself than to the porcupine. “Who is this Dr. Gizmo?” InviciBob asked.
“You’re worst nightmare.”
The porcupine jumped around again and began to shoot deadly quills at InviciBob. ‘Doof, doof, doof’. The quills came shooting out at him.
“Noooooooo!” he yelled, slashing though the massive quills with Jun, his trusty sword. He blocked the mutilated spines from puncturing his skin with his shield and ran at the porcupine. He jumped and cut the tips of the spines off his back. ‘Sttttssss’ Steam left the quills as they deflated on the mutated porcupine’s back.
“Noooooooo!” the porcupine repeated InvinciBob’s yell. The porcupine spun around and flung his claws down at InviciBob. ‘Sheungk, sheungk, sheungk’. The pan sized paws bombarded his shield with weight and ferocity. InvinciBob swung Jun at him with all his might. Jun connected with the porcupine’s nostile.
“Yoooooowwww!” the porcupine roared in pain. InvinciBob took advantage of the animal’s agony and lassoed a chain around his body. Pressing a button on his belt, the chain retracted and pulled the miserable porcupine into the van’s cage.
“Take that you engorged rodent! I am InvinciBob! No one can defeat me!” he said with triumph. Sheathing Jun back at his hip he started for the front door. Mrs. Frisco ran to meet him.
“Oh InvinciBob! You’re my hero!”
“All in a day’s work, ma’am,” he told her with a toothy smile. He took up his clipboard and wrote in perfectly legible handwriting “Pest secured by InviciBob.”
“Bob. Hellloooo? Bob.”
“Huh?” Bob asked with a start. He had so avidly been writing his report that he had lost track of time.
“You ready to go to lunch?” Jim asked him.
“Oh, yeah, sure. Let me get my stuff together.” Taking one last look at the tiny picture of the porcupine, he closed the folder and saved his document. “Hah!” he said softly. “I got you Porcupine.”

Monday, August 28, 2006

Here's a little more of Bob

This short section actually took me longer than I thought it would. I was trying to incorporate Austin's post while not fully copying it. It was also a little difficult because I wanted you guys to recognize that College Indy is supposed to be a cartoon version of Austin in a semi-Indiana Jones outfit. I was hoping that the buzzed cut and backpack would do it...and the large teeth, but that was just to make the character goofier. I'm probably going to change this part quite a bit in the future. I'm not quite happy with it right now, but it's alright for a first draft. I made some minor changes to the beginning part of the story, but they aren't significant enough for me to repost the whole thing. Let me know what you think of this.

Untitled 8/28-06

Bob took the newspaper and looked at the black and white rows of funnies. A little man with large teeth brandishing a whip and computer paper was giving a menacing stare at the fax. His buzzed cut hair and backpack made him look like a student who had accidentally stepped halfway into a time warp. In addition to the whip and backpack, the cartoon was wearing a Safari hat hanging off the back of his neck and ropes slung around his shoulders. This guy was a regular Indiana Jones meets college kid look alike! Bob blinked at the newspaper. He had never known that comic strips held so much creativity.
College Indy took creeping steps to the fax machine and tentatively pressed the power button. Balloons of sound erupted from the machine causing the adventure hero to jump back and hold up his whip. With the caution of a nervous cat, College Indy approached the fax machine again and sent his message. After a long silence of empty balloons, College Indy began to walk backwards out of the small copy room, not taking his eyes off of the machine. A loud noise popped up and the man ran back. A message appeared in the small tray. He quickly checked for booby traps with a swiping motion of his hand and snatched the paper. His mission was complete. College Indy cracked a small smile at the plastic box and scooted out the door.
“It’s a hoot isn’t it?” Jim asked as he slapped the palm of his hand down on the top of the partition. “Imagine, some weirdo in a cowboy hat being scared of a fax machine. Hah!”
“Heh, yeah,” he pretended to agree. Tucking the newspaper carefully into his garbage can, he made sure that it didn’t touch anything wet. He planned on studying it more when Jim wasn’t watching.

For some reason the link thingy didn't work, so I"m just going to go back to manually puting it in.

my first room

Okay, so I just finished the first draft of my first room at Project Legilimensia. When I was going through my editing, a dog barked outside and scared the shit out of me. I think I might request writing within the school instead of at Azkaban. Everything has to be creepy there. It gives me the heeby geebies. I admit that I was having a difficult time thinking up a semi-creepy idea for this room. When I wrote my application I was able to write a scary one because we had just come back from Europe and seen the Catacombs. That place was so creepy with all of the bones and stuff that it made it easy writing about it. This one though, was a little trickier. The idea behind this room is the entrapment of souls in Hell. I had to read part of The Divine Comedy again to get the general feeling of Hell in my brain. This section would only be Limbo in Dante's Inferno. I dread getting o the Purgatorio and Paradiso. Anyways, Here is my paragraph. The things at the end are Extended Descriptions, EDs. The words in front of the description are just keywords so that the players can easily find them.

Carved figures protrude from the wall to the north, mouths open as if screaming in silent torment. A baby juts out further than the rest of group, with limbs spread. It dangles near the ceiling of the corridor with its tiny arms stretched out. The stone slab in which these creatures of anguish reside is oddly warm and damp to the touch. Drops of water trickle from the eyes of an unmoving young girl, leaving two pale green lines of residue. There is a trace of iron in the walls. A narrow trail of smooth rock dips in the centre of the walkway from overuse, the outer edges are still rough and slightly jagged. The walls soundlessly cry into the stillness of the stagnant air. A single candle has been left burning on the calloused edge of the walk. The wick is near its inevitable death. No movement in the air disturbs the dim flame. The candle produces more shadows than light. The stone inhabitant’s carved faces become more alive in the crude lighting. To the north the crawling wall of woe continues in vain, while to the southeast the desolated bodies disappear down another path.


baby, arms, dangles: This baby hangs as a lifeless stone figure with outstretched arms and splayed fingers. On the palm of its hand and inscription reads " succurro”, help. The solid pupils of the baby’s eyes stare blankly at the opposite wall, as if in a trance. The small mouth hangs open and its tongue is resting on the roof where there is no evidence of teeth.

girl, green, water, iron, young, residue: A small girl standing only a few metres off the cold ground relentlessly continues to darken the streaks on her face. There is no sign of where the water is coming from; no visible holes in her eyes or tear ducts. The green marks left indicate that the presence of iron is hidden in the stone.

candle, burning, wick, flame, shadows: This candle was left on the rough surface of the walkway. The flame burns with an unnatural steadiness. There is no movement in the flame itself, only the slow melting of wax. The small nub is coming to the end of its short lifespan. The minimal light that it provides casts eerie shadows on the people trapped in the walls.

Let me know what you think. I'm going to post this up on the game now so that the editors can have a look. Hopefully they won't tear me apart. I think they'll be okay though, since I'm new and all. By the by, we are required to write as if we were all living in Britain, that’s why I have to use the weird spelling. If you’re interested here’s a link to word usage/slang site.

Saturday, August 26, 2006


Okay, I can't sleep. The Austin fax machine character can't be a viking. Vikings wouldn't scan for booby traps. So to stay true to Austin's oringinal character the comic character is going to be an Indiana Jones look alike. So if you couldn't follow my train of thought, Bob is going to be inspired by the comic to make his office time a little more bareable by pretending his is a hero. I wanted him to take form as a Viking, that's why I made Austin's character a Viking, but now I'm thinking something else. All I know is that I want him to have a sword and shield. Maybe he will be Ares, he Greek god of war and his beat up old car will be his horse drawn chariot.

new story... any title ideas?

So after thinking about Austin's post on fax machines, I suggested to him that he should write a novel about a modern day castle/fortress/dungeon that is really an average workplace. After much discussion, which lead me into theatrics in which my brother laughed at me, I'm going to have a go at the story. Somewhere in this story there will be a giant mutated porcupine that can shoot its quills on command and can cut a person in half with one mighty swipe of its claws. Cool, huh? Anyways, here’s the beginning. I had to start somewhere. I tried to emphasize how boring this guy is by playing down the names. Also his acquaintance Marie's full name is "Marie From Cubicle One." That's why it's all capitalized. I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think. It helps with the writing process. If it just sounds plain stupid then there isn't a point in writing it. By the by, keep in mind that this is my first draft and I only briefly went over for spelling, grammar and tense. Bare with me.

Untitled 8/26-06

He straightened his tie in the mirror, craning his neck for comfort. At six AM on a Tuesday morning, he could care less about his hair.
“Oh, Honey, you’re not wearing that striped tie with your plaid shirt again are you?” his wife said through a yawn. He heard her flop her head back down on the pillow.
“Pumpkin, no one really cares about what I wear when I sit in an office and write reports on unwanted animals all day. Besides, no one can see me in my cubicle anyway.”
“But it’s a purple tie and your shirt is brown and yellow.”
“You didn’t marry me for my great fashion sense,” he said as he kissed her goodbye. “It’s six fifteen and it sounds like Blue Girl needs to be taken out for a walk before the kids get up. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Alright, alright. The sun isn’t even up yet,” she complained. He managed to crack a smile in his early morning grogginess.
“I love you sweetheart.”
“I love you too Honey. Have a good day and don’t forget to kiss the kids goodbye,” she said as she pushed back the covers.
“I never do,” he told her, setting off down the hallway. Blue Girl trailed at his feet wagging her tail. “Not now Girl, Daddy has to go off to work so you can your nice fake bones and squeaky toys.”
The thirty-minute car ride to the office was monotonous as usual. The traffic was light, but fog kept the cars creeping along at twenty miles and hour. He hated winter. Christmas needed to hurry up and present itself at his front door with the newspaper. A break from his three gray walls and a hefty Christmas bonus was what he needed to lighten his spirit.
Rolling into his parking spot, the car breaks let out a loud moan of discomfort. He tried to let up on the pedal to ease up the noise, but it only made him jerk to a stop and announce to the world that he was attempting a quiet entrance without paying the two hundred bucks for new break pads. Grumbling to himself about getting the breaks fixed, he grabbed his briefcase and got out of the car. The window rattled when he slammed the door shut. He glared at the small car and went gloomily toward the front door.
Climbing the stairs five flights he finally made it to his floor. He stretched the neckline of his shirt and pushed open the heavy metal door.
“Good morning Bob,” said Marie From Cubicle One. “Susan wants you to start taking the stairs again?”
“Morning Marie. She said that she’s going to stop buying me new pants every time I gain an inch or two at the waist.” He gave her a grim look while patting his belly. He continued down the rows of cubicles. He took a right at the fifth box back and then a left at the third, finally getting to his desk at cubicle six row nine.
“Morning Jim,” he said.
“Morning Bob,” said his neighbor. “I heard you in the parking lot while I was getting my coffee. Still haven’t gotten those breaks replace I hear.”
“Well, it’s the holiday season. I have to think of the kids,” he replied in a dull tone. After working for Insect Corp. for fifteen years, he found himself unable to brag about his amazing career benefits, or lack there of. Jim passed him a page from his newspaper over the short wall.
“Read the one with the Viking and the fax machine. That’ll cheer you up. What a Putz” he said with a chuckle.
Bob took the newspaper and looked at the black and white boxes of funnies.

Friday, August 25, 2006

A day in the life...

Today I had my second part of my training for the project. It was not nearly as gruesome as the first day. Basically, all we did was go over some of the points that she had made with me previously and then test those out. I'm really glad that I wrote down all of the things that we went over the first day. The notes sure came in handy for today. After tonight, she unleashed me to the game. Now I get to wander around the prison (in the game) and find empty rooms that I want to describe.

At first I did not know how the whole role playing game worked. I was asking the trainer how the players graphics turned out after we made these detailed descriptions of the rooms. She told me that the game is text-based so that the players just read it all. So basically, everything that I see, they see. Let me tell you, this screen is dead boring. No wonder I never played games as a kid. I asked her what age group this game was aimed for. She informed me that it was aimed for all ages, though they were legally pg-13 rated. I have to say, when my parents heard that it is a text-based game for teenagers they laughed at me. My brother, who is 14, hates to read. I doubt that if this game ever fully hits the market, that it won't sell well. No graphics and a ton of reading? It's like a punishment game for kids.

At least for me this is a great opportunity for me to hone my describing skills. She gave me so many good ideas. If all else fails, use your senses to describe the room. I've noticed that before in novels, but have never thought of writing like that myself. When writing the layout of the room, I'm going to have to give the player the feeling of the room without telling them that they should feel scared. How fun does that sound? I'm excited because I'm finally stoked over a job and it's all volunteer! I really hope this good feelings last when I'm running low on the cash.

Besides the training I didn't do much today. I woke up at 1:30 and the hung around my house all day. The only time I actually saw the sunlight was when I was packing pots to send to Edward. There was some excitement last night though. After I made a belated anniversary dinner for my parents I had a few glasses of wine. Feeling nice and confident, I imed Denise to say hello. Well, the hard feelings are still there. I immediately called up Juni. Out of sheer coincidence, she had some wine as well. So we were all fired up to see what Denise had to say about our failed friendship. By the end she had contradicted herself and I’m beginning to think that she doesn’t even know why she’s mad at us anymore. Both of us thought that this was quite amusing since neither of us are good arguers and she is. Well better than us anyways. So in the end Juni and I finally got our closure even if Denise had gotten over it a long time ago.

After that whole fiasco, Juni and I talked for a while about her plans for her wedding and relocation to Japan. I found out that she really does want me to write a speech for the reception. She isn't doing a lot of the traditional stuff, like the bouquet toss for one, but she wants that damn speech. So after we hung up, I started writing it. The thing would have only taken me half an hour, but since I was crying the whole time I doubled my estimation time. I don't know how it's going to be at her actual wedding. Hopefully it will go through so many drafts that I'll be so sick of it that I'll get up there and say it just to get it over with. Needless to say, I think that makeup scientists had weddings in mind when they created waterproof mascara.

I reviewed my resume today and had to add in my internship as well as Project Legilimensia. If anyone needs any help with job stuff this is a great site. This site is where I post and they have awesome resources. I'm going to ask for help on beefing up my resume later tonight.

Have a great day.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I thought this was interesting

This was on the other site that I post on for an internship. It makes you feel better about yourself.

My first day of training

Today was my first training. The girl who trained me is very nice, but I feel like an entire manual was stuffed in my brain. She informed me that since working on this project she has learned four different languages. We had talk some more and then it dawned on me to ask her what kind of languages, computer or foreign. She said computer. I was hoping that she meant foreign. I hope that I don't have to learn a bunch of languages too. All the codes that we have to put in, though simple to some, are not for me. I had to write down every single command word for word just so that I would remember everything. She did make me smile though when I successfully wrote the command to have an 'echo' appear in the game. She said that I was her first trainee to master it on the first try. That boosted my confidence a little.

I'm pretty excited about actually begining to write though. After reading some of the descriptions that others have written I'm quite enthusiastic about working for this project. They have very detailed guidelines that you have to follow for the descriptions. We have to focus on the room as a whole rather than specific objects in the room, though you do have to make 'extended descriptions' for any object that you happen to mention in the main description. It probably would have helped if I played role-playing games in my youth, or even now. Games really aren't my thing. Even watching people play puts me to sleep.

The game itself isn't fully public yet, only the first part has been release to a selective few, but with all the work that is being put in it, there should be a good pay off. I'm just not sure who that pay off is rewarded to. I asked my trainer if we get compensated at the end if this game indeed goes public and her response was "what, besides immortality and ultimate power?" That wasn't really what I was expecting. I guess for now the experience with writing and this code stuff is really what counts. I'm guessing that in the end my name will be in the credits for writers so that I can use this project as a good reference for my resume. Even if this game never goes public, I can use this experience on my resume, right? I'm guessing so, because this is the most interesting writing job, and the most complicated, that I've had. I actually get to tap into my creative writing abilities. Hopefully I'll make my professors proud.

Other than that, today I woke up late again and then ran some errands. Nothing interesting really. Michael's is having a sale on their stickers which I swooped down on like an owl catching field mouse. They also had a set of four corkboards for $11 something that I think I might invest in for my new digs. I also got this cool spaghetti cooker/plastic container thing (this even has an online demo) from the "As Seen On TV" store as well as the broom/brush/squeegee thing. I'm hoping the broom thing is a good investment for our wood floors I'm also contemplating getting that rack of Tupperware, but am still undecided. I know all you guys care so much about what I buy, but it gives me a kick. Heehehe. Anyhoo, I'm off to write one of my stories now. Take care.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

woo hoo!

I wanted to make this page pretty and put my own links. It took me almost an hour to firgure out where all the code stuff goes, but I think I did it! I'm a leet haxor! ... I think that's what Edward says. Anyways, the problem now is, is that I can't view my own blog. I might have messed it up some where. Oh well, as long as everyone else can see it I guess.

Oh, happy 34th anniversary to my parents!

Trying this out

Hello all. After Austin kept trying to get me to make a blog I finally caved. I can't guarantee that this blog will go on for more than a month because they never seem to work with me. I forget or get lazy and nothing ever comes of it. I also can't guarantee that there will be the best grammar or spelling and I usually forgo the usage of capitals.

Today was pretty uneventful. My mom and I took Christopher, my brother, to his walk through for school and bought him new shoes. He cares about close as much as I do about earthworms. I swear that if you ask him if he likes a certain style he just shrugs his shoulder and makes a weird grunting noise. It's quite frustrating actually. After that I tried to sign on to that SimpleMU program I'm supposed to use for the Harry Potter game I'm working for. I hate computers. I signed up and everything, carefully following my contact's instructions. Then it kicked me off because I was idle for more than three minutes, so when I tried to log on with my username it kept asking for my name. I was sitting in front of the stupid hunk of plastic inserting my name a whole bunch of times but the stupid command kept coming up. I never figured it out. It was like the time I was trying to get my Beauty and the Beast program running on DOS. Commands can kiss my ass. I applied to be a writer not a weird program user. The worst part is, is that tomorrow I have my first meeting with the lady who is supposed to train me. If I can't get on then how am I supposed to train? Good-ness this program is a pain.

Computers and Allison don't mix.